Lost

Lost in direction recently. Lost in living intention somehow. Of course life isn't meaningless as I appreciate it. Life is just miserable. I'm wondering if I live to work and eat or work and eat to live. My mind just full of traveling plans but no plans for future. To Thailand soon and Hong Kong later. Curse and swear to live better after the idiot CCP exam. But things don't change. Time is wasting in feeling misery almost everyday though I was actually holding a book to read. What the hell have I achieved in these 25 years, guess nothing. Plan to own a house but with the $ I've now don't seem possible to make it. As so, there is a determination to do working holiday in New Zealand. Trying hard to collect sufficient ~RM15K in a year time in order to get there. Clubbing, no more......high tea, no more......expensive restaurant, no more.....not even once in a while. But traveling still go on. Think thrice now whenever make a spend. Don't blame me for being sudden stingy. ;)